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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23048152">The Journal of an Unknown Orc</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dungeons &amp; Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Diary/Journal, Gen, Half-orc, Loneliness, Orc Culture, Orcs, Original Character(s), Wilderness Survival</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:56:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,780</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23048152</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A journal found in the Underdark written by a young orc exiled from his clan, documenting his survival. Set in the Forgotten Realms.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Finding somewhere to live</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">
  <span>Forward and translation by Genetfi Homson, Candlekeep University.</span>
</p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Forward</span>
</p><p class="western">
  <span>This journal by an unknown author provides important insight into orc culture, particularly that of clan Dythrum, who eschew outsiders and only interact with other orcish clans once or twice a year. This journal was found in the Underdark by a research expedition, and brought to the university as a rare example of long-form orcish writing. It is currently unknown how it came to be in the Underdark, as from the descriptions, it is estimated that the writer was living in the central Cormanthor forests.</span>
</p><p class="western">
  <span>While the journal itself </span>
  <span>
    <span>did not contain dates</span>
  </span>
  <span>, we have been able to narrow the writing to somewhere within five years of 1490 with chemical and magical dating techniques. </span>
</p><p class="western"><span>Care has been given to translate profanity and slang into their equivalents in common</span><span><span>.</span></span> <span>F</span><span>or words where no equivalent exists, terms have been translated literally or left untranslated, with a translator’s note. Corrections to grammar and spelling have also been made while keeping the sentence structure intact where possible. </span></p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Entry one</span>
</p><p class="western">Shit I've got:</p><p class="western">- Journal and three pencils</p><p class="western">- Weapons: spear, bow and 15 arrows</p><p class="western">- Swag <a class="sdfootnoteanc" href="#sdfootnote1sym" id="sdfootnote1anc" name="sdfootnote1anc"><sup>1</sup></a></p><p class="western">- Hunting knife</p><p class="western">- Hatchet</p><p class="western">- Pot, frypan, mug, spoon</p><p class="western">- Waterskin</p><p class="western">- Rope</p><p class="western">- Clothes I'm wearing</p><p class="western">- Cloak with hood</p><p class="western">- Gloves</p><p class="western">- Knitting needles and yarn enough for 2 tunics</p><p class="western">- Hides</p><p class="western">Shit I gotta do now</p><p class="western">- <span>Walk </span>at least seven more days north east</p><p class="western">- Find spot to <span>set up camp</span></p><p class="western">Shit I can do</p><p class="western">- Build <span>huts</span></p><p class="western">- Knit</p><p class="western">- Hunt</p><p class="western">- Cook basics</p><p class="western">- Play flute</p><p class="western">- Read and write (heathen, orc, dwarf)</p><p class="western">- Know which plants are good to eat</p><p class="western">- Shoot huge balls of fire from my fingertips apparently</p>
<p></p><div><p class="sdfootnote-western"><a class="sdfootnotesym" href="#sdfootnote1anc" id="sdfootnote1sym" name="sdfootnote1sym">1</a>Slang for a type of bedroll that has handles and can therefore be carried on one’s back as a backpack</p><p class="western">
    <span class="u">Entry two</span>
  </p><p class="western">This'll be fine. Probably. Still months till winter</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
    <span class="u">Entry three</span>
  </p><p class="western">Two more days of travel till I'm outside clan territory</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
    <span class="u">Entry four</span>
  </p><p class="western">Needed for good spot:</p><p class="western">- Close to running water</p><p class="western">- Flat</p><p class="western">- <span>Gotta be </span>hidden - I reckon there's gotta be travellers around and it'll be simpler if we don't bump into each other</p><p class="western"><span>Nothing good</span> yet</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
    <span class="u">Entry five</span>
  </p><p class="western">Three days of searching. Sick of travel. Not used to lone travel. Drawing map as I <span>go</span>, always helpful.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
    <span class="u">Entry six</span>
  </p><p class="western">Found a lake today. Spent better part of the day trying to recreate the fire spell, shit outta luck though, nothin happened.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
    <span class="u">Entry seven</span>
  </p><p class="western"><span>Finally found a good spot for the camp</span>. Shallow cave with overgrown plants surrounding, decently hidden. Nearby to <span>creek</span> (more fire practice?). Set up swag, built fire.</p><p class="western">Still gotta:</p><p class="western">- Build traps</p><p class="western">- Set up traps</p><p class="western">- Hunt</p><p class="western">- Make fishing rod</p><p class="western">- Fish</p><p class="western">- Smoke meat</p><p class="western">- Build hut in cave</p><p class="western">- Work out how to shoot fire from my fucken fingertips</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
    <span class="u">Entry eight</span>
  </p><p class="western">Made a fishing rod and nearly finished building the hut in the cave.</p><p class="western">Still not used to being alone. Can't go back, can't join heathens (are they heathens? <span>Dunno</span> much about humans or elves or whatever. Except their food is bonzer<a class="sdfootnoteanc" href="#sdfootnote1sym" id="sdfootnote1anc" name="sdfootnote1anc"><sup>1</sup></a>). No other choice.</p><p class="western">The wine-is-ready festival is tomorrow if I've done my <span>arithmitic</span> <span>right</span>. No music or dancing for me this year (or ever?). No wine either. Found a berry bush, that'll have to do.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western"><a class="sdfootnotesym" href="#sdfootnote1anc" id="sdfootnote1sym" name="sdfootnote1sym">1</a>Slang for excellent, great, tasty.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
    <span class="u">Entry nine</span>
  </p><p class="western">Wine-is-ready day was fucked. <span>Spent mosta the day</span> trying to make fire from fingers again. <span>I mad</span>e a bit of smoke, which is better than nothin I guess. Berries I picked were fine. Felt like a normal day, which is wrong.</p><p class="western">Hut in cave is complete now, makes it warmer at night which is welcome. Winter will come soon enough. <span>Gotta</span> smoke more meat or it'll be hard yakka all winter.</p><p class="western"> </p>
<p></p><div><p class="western">
      <span class="u">Ten</span>
    </p><p class="western">Nearly walked right into group of human travellers. Dunno what they were doing all the way out here, yonks from any heathen settlement. They didn't see me, lucky. Followed them for a <span>bit</span>, they were talking about a new trade route, maybe nearby? Bad news.</p><p class="western">If I'm going to stay hidden, I'm gonna havta figure out a way to get rid of the path from my walking to and from the <span>creek all the time</span>.</p><p class="western">Still can't make nothin happen with magic. The healers back home throw bolts of light and heal warriors, but their power comes from Gruumsh, and what has he ever done for me? The fireball I made didn't come from him. What else could I cast? Probably nothing the healers can, since whatever magic I have <span>doesn’t come from Gruumsh anyway</span>. Maybe a different god - not Luthic, she's the god of medicine, she wouldn't be giving the power to shoot fire. Ilneval, the god of war planning and destruction, but I don't give <span>two</span> shits about war. Where else does magic come from other than the gods?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
      <span class="u">Eleven</span>
    </p><p class="western">Didn't re-create the fireball today, but did start glowing really brightly for a bit. Fuckin scary, what if a traveller came past? At least I know for sure now I have some sort of magic, even if I can't control it. Need to learn to control it somehow. <span>It for sure felt like it came from me instead of Gruumsh or whoeever</span>...But I gotta control it. Don't wanna start another bushfire.</p><p class="western">Started using a different, less direct route from cave to <span>creek</span> so the other can grow back, and setting up for winter properly, collecting firewood, catching and smoking more meat. Started knitting <span>again, need a new</span> blanket big enough to double over. These new knitting needles feel wack, but not in a bad way. They work well enough anyway.</p><p class="western">Less time for magic practice, must get set up for winter.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
      <span class="u">Twelve</span>
    </p><p class="western">Winter's nearly here. It frosted overnight, but it's all melted now. Won't be long till winter is here fully and we get snow. Travelled way beyond the black stump from the clan though so maybe it'll be a bit warmer. Hopefully.</p><p class="western">More travellers came past <span>the </span><span>creek</span>, didn't see me.</p><p class="western">Haven't had time to try the glowing or fireball magic again, been focused on knitting and hunting and smoking and gathering the autumn berries. There's some fish in the <span>creek</span>, but not many. Fewer animals getting caught in the traps, but she'll be right.</p><p class="western">Why the fuck am I even writing all this shit down, it’s a waste of paper.</p></div></div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is the second piece of fiction I've written since I was in high school English nearly fifteen years ago, so I would welcome any feedback (just please be kind because I am a beginner!)</p><p>I started writing this because I had developed this character to play in a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that fell apart before we got to level three. I wasn't able to play for ages, but fell in love with him and wanted to flesh him out more. I'm aware it's quite possibly pretty terrible and/or boring writing, but it seems a shame to just have it sitting on my computer. And you don't get better at something without practice.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Getting through winter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">
  <span class="u">Thirteen</span>
</p>
<p class="western">Food I have:</p>
<p class="western">Smoked meats: 10 rabbits, 2 deer, 3 squirrels</p>
<p class="western">I do not have enough food to get me through winter. I have some berries as well (not enough), but though I'm small, I need nearly double the food I have. Those travellers months ago mentioned a trading post...should I risk it? Will they kill me on sight? What can I part with to trade for food?</p>
<p class="western">1 knitted blanket, 1 fur skin blanket, 5 rabbit skins, 1 deer skin, 5 arrows</p>
<p class="western">No fucken idea what that stuff will be worth. Don't heathens use coin to trade? What coins are what? I have to risk it, I might not last the winter otherwise. Where is the trade post?</p>
<p class="western"><span>Also gotta </span>disguise/hide/dismantle camp before I leave. Just in case.</p>
<p class="western"> </p>
<p class="western">
  <span class="u">Fourteen</span>
</p>
<p class="western">Plan for trading:</p>
<ol>
<li class="western">Put all trade items and some food in swag</li>
<li class="western">Bury food in cave</li>
<li class="western">Put all stuff in cave</li>
<li class="western">Hide cave - drag log, brush out drag marks</li>
<li class="western">Find trade-post somehow</li>
<li class="western">Buy food (how!?)</li>
<li class="western">Make it home</li>
<li class="western">Don't die</li>
</ol>
<p class="western"> </p>
<p class="western">
  <span class="u">Fifteen</span>
</p>
<p class="western">Maybe when I’m dead, someone will find this book near my corpse and be bored enough to read it.</p>
<p class="western">All prep for trading trip complete. Keeping eye for any travellers. Fewer animals around because winter is nearly here. Frost every night now.</p>
<p class="western"> </p>
<p class="western">
  <span class="u">Sixteen</span>
</p>
<p class="western">Things learnt on trading trip:</p>
<ul>
<li class="western">Money is hard and confusing
<ul>
<li class="western">Gold is worth 10 Silver</li>
<li class="western">Silver is worth 10 copper</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li class="western">Don’t sneak up on people, they think you’re dodgy. Better to be loud if not trying to kill them</li>
<li class="western">Knitted goods worth more than pelts</li>
<li class="western">Heathens are just people. Who sometimes give you tea.</li>
</ul>
<p class="western">Now I have enough food for winter.</p>
<p class="western">I'm gonna get bored of cured and salted meat, but at least I won’t starve before spring. Did buy jar of something called jam – it’s made from fruit but <span>isn’t</span> wine, and tastes sweet. Amazing shit. Will use sparingly.</p>
<p class="western">Also bought a book about magic, something called a ‘novel’ and way more yarn so I'll have shit to do while stuck in the cave. Books are in common so <span>they’ll</span> take <span>yonks</span> to read</p>
<p class="western"> </p>
<p class="western">
  <span class="u">Seventeen</span>
</p>
<p class="western">Most important <span>shit</span> learnt from magic book so far:</p>
<p class="western">- Focus or components needed for magic to happen</p>
<p class="western">- I need another book that tells me what words mean</p>
<p class="western">So I need a focus to actually cast spells. The fuck is a focus?</p>
<p class="western"> </p>
<p class="western">
  <span class="u">Eighteen</span>
</p>
<p class="western">So focus options are:</p>
<p class="western">- Wand (what the fuck is a wand?)</p>
<p class="western">- Staff (big stick?)</p>
<p class="western">- Crystal (rock?)</p>
<p class="western">- Orb (the fuck?)</p>
<p class="western">- Rod (small stick?)</p>
<p class="western">Bored of cured meats now. Traps set up still, game hard to find but easy as piss to catch. Been spending time knitting and making a new hut. The first I made in a rush and it did it's job but it'<span>s misera1ble to sit in all the bloody time</span>. Want a bigger one, dome shaped instead of cone. Collected and stripped more willow branches to make the frame. <span>Gotta</span> unpick some of the old roof hides to sew them in the right shape, and use the floor hides so the roof will be big enough. And make rope to knit big rug for floor. Flat out like a parched lizard drinking</p>
<p class="western"> </p>
<p class="western">
  <span class="u">Nineteen</span>
</p>
<p class="western">Finished the new hut. Heaps better, especially since I've been sleeping in the swag the last coupla days while I've been building and sewing and everything.</p>
<p class="western">Also finished the last of the fruit jam yesterday. Just dried meat left, no game anywhere to be found.</p>
<p class="western">One more moon cycle till spring. No sign of the melt yet. Just snow and ice everywhere. Cold as fuck, feels colder than back with the clan<span> so I’ve been staying in the cave as much as possible.</span></p>
<p class="western">
  <span>The ‘novel’ is a story about a h</span>
  <span>alfling who meets a wizard and a bunch of dwarves and becomes a thief. There’s a bunch of weird shit that happens and they all talk weird so I guess it’s a fake story instead of a real one. It passes the time. </span>
  <span>Reminds me a bit of being a kid and hearing tales about Gruumsh’s sons. Except the halfling story has less blood in it. </span>
</p>
<p class="western"> </p>
<p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty</span>
</p>
<p class="western">Found a big stick about the same height as me and sanded it down so it's easy to hold <span>like</span> a quarterstaff. Tried more spells with it by the lake all morning, nothing happened. What makes a big stick different from a magic staff?</p>
<p class="western">Fucked up while knitting <span>too</span>, spat the dummy<a class="sdfootnoteanc" href="#sdfootnote1sym" id="sdfootnote1anc" name="sdfootnote1anc"><sup>1</sup></a> and kicked the shit outta the hut entrance. Scratched up my foot and now I gotta fix the bloody thing.</p>
<p class="western"> </p>
<p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty-one</span>
</p>
<p class="western">
  <span>Rebui</span>
  <span>
    <span>lt the hut door</span>
  </span>
  <span>. Built it better so pretty stoked about that. Maybe chucking wobblies<a class="sdfootnoteanc" href="#sdfootnote1sym" id="sdfootnote1anc" name="sdfootnote1anc"><sup>1</sup></a>   aren't always a bad thing.</span>
</p>
<p class="western">Read through magic book again. Maybe focuses need to have some sort of magic artefact in them as well as being a special shape. There's nothing magic round here so it'll have to wait till spring and maybe I can buy something magic.</p>
<p class="sdfootnote-western"><a class="sdfootnotesym" href="#sdfootnote1anc" id="sdfootnote1sym" name="sdfootnote1sym">1</a>Got very angry</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. How did we get here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty-two</span>
</p><p class="western">Can’t stop thinking about the shit that got me exiled. Maybe if I write it all down I won’t be constantly distracted from everything that I actually gotta get done. Might take several days but I’ve got all bloody winter before anything interesting happens so fuck it. I also wanna try writing this like the novel just for shits <a class="sdfootnoteanc" href="#sdfootnote1sym" id="sdfootnote1anc" name="sdfootnote1anc"><sup>1</sup></a> <a class="sdfootnoteanc" href="#sdfootnote2sym" id="sdfootnote2anc" name="sdfootnote2anc"><sup>2</sup></a></p><p class="western">
  <sup>(<a class="sdfootnotesym" href="#sdfootnote2anc" id="sdfootnote2sym" name="sdfootnote2sym">2</a>Translators note: The rest of this entry was written in common, and contained many corrections, annotations, edits, words and sentences written in different inks and seemingly inserted after the initial writing. The final version is presented here.)</sup>
</p><p class="western">So the first thing to know is that all orc clans<a class="sdfootnoteanc" href="#sdfootnote3sym" id="sdfootnote3anc" name="sdfootnote3anc"><sup>3</sup></a>, including mine, have some sort of rite you gotta go through before you’re an adult. In the Dythrum clan you have to prove that you’re useful and worth being part of the clan. So what we do is you prove your usefulness in a raid, a battle or a major hunt. Not to kill like a bear or whatever, but like, a dragon or giant ape. Something huge and worth killing, both for the meat and the glory.</p><p class="western">I was coming of age with two others, so it was me and Creske and Durth, leading a raid of a small town a few days south of our village. My job, because I was the smallest and I was half-decent at hiding, was to scout out the town and work out when would be best for the raiding parties to attack. I reckon most non-orcs would say that the best time for an attack would be at night where you could go and slaughter everyone in their beds without battle, but the Dythrum wouldn’t agree. The best time is whenever you would have the most glorious battle and get the most battle-action. After about a day of watching them, I worked out that the time when the town was at its most busy, with the most amount of defenders, was mid-morning.</p><p class="western">The other two, their job was to lead the two raiding parties. I was in Creske’s party, and Durth was leading the other. The whole raid went as well as it could have. Durth’s group attacked first, and we went second, hitting from the other flank. Dythrum clan never takes prisoners<a class="sdfootnoteanc" href="#sdfootnote4sym" id="sdfootnote4anc" name="sdfootnote4anc"><sup>4</sup></a> – it’s shameful to not be able to move and live in service of your family and clan. It’s more glorious to be killed in battle than be useless and restricted. We give our enemies the same respect as we’d want for ourselves. But I suppose not everyone agrees, because a lot of town ran away when we hit them.</p><p class="western">None of us died in the battle, which showed off Durth and Creske’s skills. Everyone gained some more scars from it, the frontline folks more than us archers in the back of course, which is why everyone always wants to be in the thick of the fighting. I’m better at hunting than I am finding weak points in human armour so I got a few hits in but didn’t do all that much damage. That didn’t matter for the rite though. There are loads of ways to be useful in a battle, and suppressing arrow fire is one of them. It makes the enemy have to show their cowardice as they take cover or run.</p><p class="western">The most important thing in any raid is collecting the spoils. We take everything we don’t make ourselves or we think might be valuable in trades with other clans. This raid was particularly bonzer for us, they had a well-stocked blacksmith and warehouse with a fucktonne of food. It must have been a crafting guild town or something because there was loads of yarn, wool and in one house, there was a particularly ornate pair of knitting needles. Creske found them and gave them to me and I remember she said “small, pretty needles for the smallest orc”.<a class="sdfootnoteanc" href="#sdfootnote5sym" id="sdfootnote5anc" name="sdfootnote5anc"><sup>5</sup></a> Once the party returns to the town, all the initiates spend all their time together till the end of the rites. You’re not allowed to leave each others’ sides.</p><p class="western">The second part of the rite is the tattooing of the life tree and an orc saying from one of the gods, usually Gruumsh but sometimes someone else in our pantheon. The tattoo is done in two sessions, the first is in this part of the rite, and later on after the tests. All the initiates are present for everyone else’s tattoos and everyone has to be silent through the whole thing. The saying is chosen by one of the elders who was in the battle, or who knows the initiate really well. The saying represents your true nature. Mine is from Yurtrus<a class="sdfootnoteanc" href="#sdfootnote6sym" id="sdfootnote6anc" name="sdfootnote6anc"><sup>6</sup></a>, and the full saying is: “More favoured are the living than lifeless, even the deaf can fight and prevail. To be blind is better than fuel for the pyre, and no orc cares for a corpse”. Only the first bit was tattooed, the rest was going to be added after the trials. I can’t remember what Durth had, but Creske’s was something like “Charge into life, push forward beyond all obstacles. Have an unmatched intensity and fire that burns inside.”</p><p class="western"><br/>
<br/>
</p><p class="western">Then the tests, which last a week. The point of the tests is to find out which role you’re best suited to. We had our warrior test first, we sparred with each of the most skilled and toughest warriors in the clan. We had all done this before multiple times – you don’t get to even five summers old without being trained in fighting. No initiate ever wins in the sparring of course, but they evaluate your strength and skill with your fists and blade. I was, of course, fucken terrible at this. There’s a reason I was doing scouting and archery in the raid and not in the thick of the most fighting.</p><p class="western">The second day was the healing tests. This mostly involved stitching up broken egg shells and helping to make healing potions. But it was also a test of our magical abilities and faith (since healing magic comes from Luthic<a class="sdfootnoteanc" href="#sdfootnote7sym" id="sdfootnote7anc" name="sdfootnote7anc"><sup>7</sup></a>). Everything else was going great, I was actually half-decent at stitching and potion-making, but the spell attempts were next. We were taught to cast a wound curing spell. And this is where I fucked up.</p><p class="western">I was the last of us three to have a go. I’m not a very faithful orc, but something in me must’ve pleased (or angered) Luthic that day, because I was able to heal the bruising from Durth’s tattoo but immediately afterwards, there was this fucken gigantic ball of flame that shot out from my hand, straight onto the ground below us. I was knocked out as I hit the floor. When I woke up what must’ve been seconds later, there were three huts on fire, and everyone else who had been at the test were blackened corpses. Five people, five of my clan, dead in an instant, because of something in me that I couldn’t control. Three healers and two of my age-mates, who I’d grown up with. They liked me as much as everyone, and they were...they had a lot of potential according to what the adults kept saying when we were first heading to the raid. The shittest thing is that I still don’t understand how the fuck it even happened.</p><p class="western">Then there was the trial. Which was delayed because they had to wait for the chief to return from a hunt trip. I was confined to the outskirts of the village, by the hut of our most decorated warrior. If I did anything, he’d be tough enough to survive and kill me. While we all waited, I was given knitting to keep me useful but I think I maybe knitted barely fifty rows in the two days because I kept being sick.</p><p class="western">I should probably explain how trials work in our clan, since I suppose all clans are different in how they uphold laws. Usually people work out differences among themselves, through yelling or fistfights. But if it’s something against more than one person or threatens the health of the clan as a whole, then there’s a proper trial by combat.</p><p class="western">A space is made in the centre of the village, and the whole clan watches, cheering for their favourite and jeering for the not-favourite. The first to yield (which no-one ever does) or collapse and not get up again is guilty. My trial by combat was against the chief, since my crime was against the whole clan. Obviously I got absolutely smashed. I managed to dodge the first axe swing, but he got me on the back swing not half a second later. I barely felt it and tried to hit him with the axe I’d been given but I missed completely. I didn’t see his next swing but he must’ve hit because I went crunch right to the floor.</p><p class="western">The next thing I remember is waking up to the chief standing over me with the most angry expression I’d ever seen him make – and the dude would get really fucken angry. Down in two hits and not even got a hit in at attacking him myself? Absolutely fucken disgraceful. At least if I’d hit him once I woulda been able to walk away with my head held high but as it was he just threw a swag at my face and pointed towards the forest. So I scrambled away still bleeding, not able to say goodbye to anyone, though I did get a glance of mum as I left. She saw me leave but didn’t look at me.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p class="sdfootnote-western"><a class="sdfootnotesym" href="#sdfootnote1anc" id="sdfootnote1sym" name="sdfootnote1sym">1</a>“For shits” in this context is short for “shits and giggles”, which refers to doing something just because one can, because it’s fun or interesting.</p>
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  <p class="sdfootnote-western"><a class="sdfootnotesym" href="#sdfootnote3anc" id="sdfootnote3sym" name="sdfootnote3sym">3</a>Not all orc clans have coming-of-age rituals, but those in and near Cormanthor do.</p>
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  <p class="sdfootnote-western"><a class="sdfootnotesym" href="#sdfootnote4anc" id="sdfootnote4sym" name="sdfootnote4sym">4</a>This is not common, as there are many documented cases of orc clans taking prisoners and selling or keeping them as slaves.</p>
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  <p class="sdfootnote-western"><a class="sdfootnotesym" href="#sdfootnote5anc" id="sdfootnote5sym" name="sdfootnote5sym">5</a>This is the second reference to the author being small or short, which suggests perhaps he was stunted or a half-orc.</p>
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  <p class="sdfootnote-western"><a class="sdfootnotesym" href="#sdfootnote6anc" id="sdfootnote6sym" name="sdfootnote6sym">6</a>Gruumsh is the leader of the orc pantheon, and is the god of storms, war and orcs themselves. Yurtrus is the orc goddess of death and disease.</p>
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  <p class="sdfootnote-western"><a class="sdfootnotesym" href="#sdfootnote7anc" id="sdfootnote7sym" name="sdfootnote7sym">7</a>The orc god of healing, women and fertility.</p>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. So that's how magic works</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty-two</span>
</p><p class="western">Nothing's happened in weeks, other than writing out the most fucked up shit that ever happened. If I hadn’t done it I’d be. Well. At least not here.</p><p class="western">I didn’t finish the rites, I’m <span>still a child</span>, even though I’m well over the age now to be an adult. Fucken bullshit. Any orc who I run into will know immediately because <span>m</span><span>y</span> tattoo isn’t done.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty-three</span>
</p><p class="western">Still only eating meat, running out, have started rationing. Temperature is warmer though.</p><p class="western">The halfling in the book talked to a dragon and didn’t die which was totally bonkers.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty-three</span>
</p><p class="western">Spring's here! The thaw has started! Cave looks like a dog’s breakfast from not leaving it in yonks but I don’t care because it’s fuckin finally spring.</p><p class="western">The halfling’s king friend died so I stopped reading it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty-four</span>
</p><p class="western">More game around, no berries yet. But at least I'm finally able to eat something other than smoked meat. I'd forgotten how bonzer fresh game is.</p><p class="western">I've started just carrying the knitting needles around everywhere, even when I don't have yarn with me. I feel better when I can grab them, like I'm a bit more powerful somehow. Sounds stupid, I'm only slightly taller than I was a year ago and just as weak.</p><p class="western">Can finally fish in the creek again, the ice has melted enough. Want more jam - another trip to trade-post? Nothing fucked up happened last time so it'll probably be apples again. Not that risky and it'll only take a few days.</p><p class="western">To sell: 3 knitted blankets, pelts.</p><p class="western">To buy: yarn, jam, something magic for a focus</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty-five</span>
</p><p class="western">The Merry Troll is the name of the only permanent shop at the trade-post. Had tea with Emeline who runs <span>the joint, she’s fair dinkum</span>. Tea is bonzer, so I bought some. No magic stuff or more books on magic though, so Emeline said I should read a specific novel called “The Axe”. I <span>bought i</span><span>t </span>since I <span>s</span><span>topped reading</span> the one about the halfling. This one is about a <span>c</span><span>ity boy</span> <span>who was going on a trip and his coach driver died and he had to fend for himself with just his axe. He has no clue about how to live in the woods which makes me frustrated. The kid just ate a bunch of berries without knowing what they were. The idiot. I bet Emeline is stitching me up with this. </span></p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty-six</span>
  <span class="u"></span>
</p><p class="western">
  <span>I wonder what the date is. Guess it doesn’t fucken matter anymore, I have no intention of celebrating wine-is-ready day without any bloody wine again. Or any other holiday.</span>
</p><p class="western">
  <span>Finished </span>
  <span>reading The Axe</span>
  <span>. I have a lotta </span>
  <span>
    <span>feelings</span>
  </span>
  <span> about it. </span>
</p><p class="western">
  <span>Re-reading the magic book. Might not need a focus for some spells, but I dunno. There's instructions for a spell called 'prestidigitation', which I can't even fucken pronounce, let alone cast. The </span>
  <span>
    <span>directions</span>
  </span>
  <span> are bonkers and impossible to understand. Might need a teacher? That's a terrifying thought.</span>
</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty-seven</span>
</p><p class="western">Was darning my socks, and darning is bullshit so I was thinking how much easier it would be if they just fucken fixed themselves and then they were just fixed. No extra yarn or nothing, just boom, <span>mended</span>. Not just that sock either, the same thing happened when I missed several stitches in the blanket I was knitting and I was having a whinge about that too, and boom the hole was gone.</p><p class="western">Only works with knitting...gotta work out why.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty-eight</span>
</p><p class="western">It does not only work with knitting, it just only works when I'm holding the fucken knitting needles. The knitting needles are magic. The magic comes from me, I can <span>sense</span> it, but the magic feels like it gets pushed through the needles. I could’ve been magicking shit fixed this whole fucken time instead of doing it all by hand.</p><p class="western">Spent hours just breaking twigs and then fixing them till I could really feel the magic travelling through and past the needles. I guess the<span>y are </span>a focus, they're just not listed in the book anywhere.</p><p class="western">So I have a focus now. What else can I cast? Will I be able to make fire?</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Twenty-nine</span>
</p><p class="western">I've been so bloody obsessed with figuring out how my magic works that I've run out of stored food. Plus I've been forgetting to check the traps – didn't realise till brekkie, and the rabbits that got caught in the traps have now gone bad. What a bloody fucking waste. No jam left either so it was air for <span>breakfast</span> and berries for lunch. Managed to catch a rabbit for dinner though which – good. Will also save a bit for brekkie tomorrow but this shit is bad.</p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Thirty</span>
</p><p class="western">Spent several days focused on hunting and fishing and salting and drying meat. Cannot run out of food again.</p><p class="western">I wonder if there's some sort of magic that would make it easier to hunt. If balls of fire can be magicked, maybe there are spells that damage people that are more targeted than the explosion in the village, like a bow and arrow. Will need to think on it.</p><p class="western"> </p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Interlude</span>
</p><p class="western">A half-rc, clad in brown knitted pants and a leather cloak, walks confidently through the woods and mumbling indistinctively. Not paying attention, he walks directly into the path of a wild boar, which immediately slams into him with its tusks.</p><p class="western">He reaches out with his hand and shoots a bolt of fire at the boar, but in his surprise that it actually works, he misses and the bolt hits a tree trunk, which catches fire. In a panic, he gets as far away from the boar as he can, who then charges at him, enraged. He manages to leap out of the way and lets off another fire bolt, which actually hits this time – singeing the boar and sending it into an angered range.</p><p class="western">The boar tries to slam its horns into him again, and misses, He just managing to dodge the horns. Feeling assured, he reaches out with more fire, which misses and hits a bush, which catches alight. The boar comes around for another charge, and slams him to the ground before wandering off. Unconscious, he does not get up for several hours, and when he finally does, he does so groggily. Looking around, he sighs in relief when he realises that the fires have burnt themselves out, and starts to limp back home<span>.</span></p><p class="western">
  <span class="u">Thirty-one</span>
</p><p class="western">Good news: I can make fire shoot from my hands piss easy. Don't even need my needles. And I didn't start a bushfire this time.</p><p class="western">Bad news: <span>N</span>early died. Gotta be more careful and watch where the fuck I'm walking. Bloody bushpigs. I can't aim my fire shots, and it's not very powerful. Maybe practice will help.</p><p class="western">Shit I know how to do:</p><p class="western">- Mend shit with magic</p><p class="western">- Shoot fire from my hands (on command!)</p><p class="western">- Build tents</p><p class="western">- Knit</p><p class="western">- Hunt, skin, gut animals</p><p class="western">- Fish</p><p class="western">- Cook basics</p><p class="western">- Play flute (buy one?)</p><p class="western">- Read and write (common, orc, dwarf)</p><p class="western">- Know which plants to eat</p><p class="western">- Trap and skin animals</p>
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